One thing that really terrified me this year was just how bad the anxiety got before I was even aware that it was beyond the usual symptoms. I’ve identified two of the reasons:
- I was in crisis mode for a lot of that time, for reasons beyond my control. Now I’m actively removing myself from any crisis, or even drama.
- It was such a gradual decline and was muted somewhat by the medication I was on.
It is possible that this could happen again. The meds might stop working again, or the workload may exacerbate things. I don’t know the new reality.
So, after talking to both my psych and my allied health professional, I’ve decided to come up with a plan of symptoms to look for
- Thoughts of suicidal ideation. Crisis or not, that’s not good. If I feel it, or the wrist burning sensation, then I book into the dr. immediately AND bring it up with the psych.
- Numb arms. I’m not sure that alone warrants a medical change, but will definitely be noted somewhere. I’m going to create a word document for tracking this, migraines and any other severe symptoms (and anything that worked)
- The intense visualizations. That makes me wonder, should I get a different type of medication (prozac?) to knock me out during such severe episodes? Maybe that would be more strategic than changing medication. The point remains. If this is happening frequently, then investigate possible relapse.
- Voices, although this time I’m not even sure I heard them, as I’ve read that when talking to yourself in your head the tone can change?
- Probably 3 weeks of not being able to do housework. At the moment I go can one week without doing it, but then catch up as soon as I’ve gotten the energy.’
That’s all I have thus far. Having comorbid symptoms (anxiety/depression) makes some monitoring more difficult. I’ll print it out and present to the psych next month and see what he thinks. One concern I have with employment is that there is a high chance of relapse and it feels unethical to seek a job that I may not be able to maintain. However, I have a support team now and they can help me work through those specific concerns 🙂